Its another day..
Went jogging this late afternoon with my sister at UP Diliman. I had a good workout and I am happy at the physical condition that I am in now. I don't really want to maintain it but rather I want to ramp things up a bit more until I can really say that I'm in great shape for my age. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that in the coming weeks..
We take our dinner and prepare for tomorrow's activities. Bags all packed and all arrangements have been made. Next thing I know, Papa is telling mama that she can't carry more than 1 piece of carry on luggage on the airplane. She gets angry insisting that she will carry as many things as her hands can carry but we tell her that its not allowed on the plane. Next thing we know she's going into a fit about what she can and cannot do. We just tell her to calm down and go back to their room to rest because they have an early flight tomorrow. This just sets her off again into a litany of statements wherein she says that she will do whatever she wants and will not be told by anybody. Great night..
My mom and dad are flying out tomorrow morning to Leyte for a vacation. They'll be there for a month and the plan is for them to attend the town fiesta in the 2nd week of June and stay a bit more for more rest and recreation. And since last week my mom had been busy rummaging and packing all sorts of old clothes, knickknacks, and some linen to be brought home. The problem is, there's just too much stuff she wants to bring home with her! There's just going to be two of them traveling to the province by plane and they can't hope to carry all that stuff with them! Not to mention that all that stuff put together on a scale is easily over 100kgs! My dad's not willing to pay thousands in excess baggage fees just to bring home that much old stuff that my mom intends to give away in the province! Honestly, it boggles me to think if the people back in mama's hometown would actually be happy to be given a bunch of old stuff! Maybe if they were Yolanda victims who lost their home and possessions, they'd gladly take what they can get. But I know for a fact that mom's hometown was spared from the typhoon's fury and that the people there are doing better than they have been a long time ago.. I'm afraid that in my mom's mind, the folks back in the province are still mired in abject poverty and are in great need of just about anything that she will give them. And this makes me want to stop her from making a fool of herself.. I just can't bear to see this happen. Good thing dad has made it his mission to ensure that all that stuff won't be brought along to the province anymore. Thank goodness!
My mom's really getting a bit senile and what with Alzheimer's Disease, her memory is really a blur sometimes. There are days when she's really sharp but most of the time she's just lost in a haze.. And this really has me worried for my own future.. I wonder if I'll be like that as well when I grow old? Grumpy, forgetful, always in pain, and not taken seriously. It kinda makes me wish that I won't grow old.. Urgh.
As one of her kids, its really hard for me to see my mom become somewhat of a kid who only does what she wants to do without any regard for anybody else but herself. This must really be what they say "tumatanda ng paatras" wherein as you age, you actually act more and more like a child. What happens is that I've noticed us siblings becoming callous towards mama's demands (they can be outrageous at times!) and our cynicism can be horrible as a result. We would tend to ignore her requests sometimes because we know that what she wants us to do sometimes are pointless and actually do her no good at all. Given her mental condition, there are a lot of things that she did that she herself forgets and she does a lot of things that are actually totally against common logic. It wears everybody down really quickly. Hats off to the caregivers out there who have to work day in and day out with the elderly. If one or two old people is this hard to deal with, I can't imagine a whole nursing home full of them!
I've been accused of being an unfilial son by somebody in the past, but its funny to note that the person who accused me that can't even stand to spend time with my mom exactly because my mom can be very difficult given her situation. I know that I have to be more patient with my mom and dad, but sometimes I just snap! And I know I need to work on this if I am to really get my life in line. Because I know that someday, this will all come full circle once I become the senile old coot that my children can't stand. And even now I can't imagine how hard that must be for me and my children. This is all easier said than done. Haaay.
God help me on this one!
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